confessionsofastreetmeatvendor’s posterous

I'm old. I am out for a drink with a couple of friends in Barrie. As I sit here sipping my extremely girlie cooler. I look around and realize I am one of the oldest in the room. There was a time not so long ago when I would be on the younger end of the demo. Now its 12, I'm old and I feel like the old creepy guy at the bar, I find the music too loud and I wish this place had booths. Oh where did cool Martin go?
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Gotta love health food. Just one of the many products I peddle for the good folks at Zehrs.

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Seriously who needs three pairs of glasses at one time

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I am calling it quits for the season in terms of cooking the sausages. All summer long I have been keeping notes on some of the wacky things I actually overheard while cooking for people. Its as if I wasn't there. (please note I haven't made up any of these. They were all actually said)

-we don't have a cl for the component yet

-its bigger than you realize, cuz the pants are holding it in.

-i think my room mate stabbed someone.
-I don't need the whole world to sEe. I love him and he loves me and that's good enough for me, you know?

-we are sick of that bathroom.
-i had to get me shades back on (irish accent) shaaades! (sung like an 80s rocker)

-youve got stuff to set up. Got a tent to set up. Get the clowns up and ready

-she drives a friggin crotch rocket, zoom zoom (motor bike sounds)

-P1-What are we gonna do with all these kids? P2-hog tie them... I've got an attic! P1-we can play spin the bottle

More to come.

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Gotta love when you go out of your way to make a suggestion to an event organizer only to have them blow you off.
Tonight in the midst of the down pour I noticed that their tents corners weren't pulled tight and in a rain storm that can cause the rain to catch in the top and warp the tent or even cause the peak to rip thru the fabric. I know this only from working events for ten year in my previous vocation.
I mention it to the event organizer, but she didn't seem to concerned. After all I'm just a dumb street meat vendor. Well the rain built up until it could no longer hold it any longer. It burst with two smokers underneath. It was classic. They were soaked and I was vindicated. Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

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I can sell meat that normally I couldn't sell... Of course I don't!
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Here I am set up outside of a school gymnasium. 30 people inside, 3 smokers outside and me. I've got meat on the grill and I'm ready to sell.
It was never supposed to be this lame. The event is a Guitar Hero challenge in Brantford. It sounded great. It was supposed to take place in their beautiful new Harmony Square and I figured the walkup traffic alone, especially near several downtown bars would make me a bit of money. That was until the summer of rain happened.
All three event dates have called for rain, so they moved the event indoors and across town. And here I sit outside under a tent while Brantford play rocks on the inside.
I spent $200 bucks to be part of this event and wasn't looking like that would be made back. Until the very kind event planner offered me to sell at their movie night last night. And I was able to make $130. So I think I will break even.
So here I sit in anticipation. At this point only a miracle could help me to actually turn a profit cut everything is stacked against me. Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

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... And hopefully the last. On the way to the event today we ran out of gas, AGAIN! I think the gage in our car is pooched. Any ways about 30 seconds into the walk towards the off ramp an OPP officer showed up and offered to drive us to the gas station and back. I thought, how great is this! Then he reminded me that my sticker just expired and slapped me with a $110 ticket. That's 27 sausages I now have to sell today to pay that off. Super!
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